House o' birth: a journal on becoming an Ama. (Pregnancy, Birth & Midwifery).

Publication: Mothering

Publication Date: 01-NOV-02

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COPYRIGHT 2002 Mothering Magazine

I dreamed a baby was picketing the produce department. I don't know what she was protesting--maybe she was boycotting grapes. People are shocked that we don't know if the baby will be a boy or a girl. I tell the handsome FedEx driver "No ultrasound," and you'd think I had said, "No prenatal care." What I didn't say was, "Not even a wedding."

My daughter Corina was named for the song "Corina, Corina" and the poem "Corinna's Going A-Maying" by Herrick. I went into labor on May Day, which used to be celebrated by taking a perfectly respectable tumble in the hay with a village lad. Corina met Chace two years ago on the main street of Madrid, New Mexico. She liked his looks and his sweetness and gave him her number. After my mom's death, when I told her friend, Libby, about the unwed pregnancy, Libby pronounced, "The baby will be a bastard!" She's 95. A few heartbeats later, Libby added, "But people don't think that way anymore."

My Aunt Chuty calls during the baby shower. Her real name is Ida. She's the only one left. She says I am the mother and should tell Corina to get married. I think this is a novel thought, me telling a 28 year old what to do. My 17 year old, Hope, says, "Mom, I was going to come to that conclusion myself." I am all about family values but, like the times, they are a-changing. Corina and Chace live together, two neo-hippies, like "someone" and "no one" from the e. e. cummings poem, living in the "pretty how town" of Glorieta.

I am clear with Corina that this is her time to be in control, and that though she's invited me to the birth, if she doesn't want me there, at any time, she must let me know. One of her midwives, Ginny Erdley, was my midwife at Hope's birth. I run into Ginny in town, and she says, "This is getting to be second-generation homebirthers."

I tell Corina, "You may lose your sense of humor during childbirth." That is code for how worried I am.

I think about the handing over of power in a woman's life. Just think of Snow White. The Old Queen has some major postmenopausal mom issues about the beauty of the rising daughter. Who is the fairest of them all? My mother was so powerful, a beautician of movie-star beauty. It took my father's death...

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