Let the beaten be eaten.(Asia)

DO YOU KNOW the haka? It's a cannibal war dance to terrify the enemy you plan to kill and eat. A terpsichorean aperitif, if you will. Originally something for Maoris only, it is now performed indiscriminately by New Zealanders of every kind, with rolling eyes, fearful grimaces, protruding tongues, bared teeth, and horrible cries and yells. They say there are also more amiable haka suitable for welcoming the first cuckoo in spring. But I haven't seen one. The only haka I've seen are meant to scare the living daylights out of those who soon must die.

One must assume that this is also the kind of haka the Turks have seen, and that is why, in April this year, their prime minister banned its unseemly barbarities from the annual Gallipoli commemorations. It was delicately put about that the haka was in some way "culturally offensive" to the Turks. A certain arm gesture was deemed unacceptable. Elsewhere, in private no doubt, Mr Erdogan was reported as describing the haka as obscene--if not pornographic.

Turkey's prime minister may not be much of a diplomat--but my, what a critic! In speaking up on this matter he was only doing his duty, but the whole world is in his debt, and I foresee a wider role for the Turks in New Zealand's affairs. Istanbul plainly represents an immeasurably higher civilisation than anything to be found in the South Seas, and a wholesale Turkish influx is now ...