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Insider's Guide
How to get the perfect haircut, quit gnawing your nails, order a cocktail, and more.
How to Crack Dress Codes
By Kate Spade Accessories and home designer Spade is the author of the etiquette books Occasions, Style, and Manners. For my father's seventy-fifth birthday, a sit-down dinner at the Savoy Hotel in Kansas City, I specified simply "festive attire." My aunts and uncles were pretty confused: Is it formal? Is it kooky? It might've been more considerate of me to write "cocktail attire." * Make an effort. If an invitation says "casual," it doesn't mean "not special" or "who cares?" If you receive a written invitation, it means people are making an effort, and you should, too. If it's a Sunday afternoon lunch during the summer, assume a printed halter dress with flat sandals or a bright wrap skirt with a T-shirt and flip-flops. Parties with vague themes like "rock and roll" make me less nervous because they're open to interpretation. But you shouldn't ignore the theme -- it's like ...