Insider Guide.(how to stop gossiping)

Insider's Guide etiquette

HOW TO STOP GOSSIPING

By Susan Mulcahy Former editor of the New York Post's Page Six, Mulcahy stopped gossiping for newspapers in 1989. She is now a freelance writer and media consultant. When I mention to people that I was a gossip columnist for ten years -- information I drop only when relevant -- the reaction that irks me most is, "I'm not telling you anything!" I keep secrets better than 99 percent of the population because I have witnessed first-hand the havoc wreaked by gossip. I will not go so far as to say lives have been lost, and yet, what about those surprising celebrity heart attacks? Is there any proof that the deceased had not been reading Page Six? * Deflect, disarm, evade. If you have a friend who is an incorrigible gossip, sidetrack her. Don't get visibly excited by her information, and then change the subject to something she will think is gossipy, but is harmless -- like Paris Hilton's love life or Donald Trump's hair. Both were specifically designed to be discussed in a negative fashion. * Jump off the bandwagon. When several people start denigrating someone else in my presence, I say: "I would love to have you meet my Uncle Larry. I have mentioned him, haven't I? He's a Jesuit priest." I don't actually have an Uncle Larry, but perhaps you do. If not, just change the subject to something more serious, such as humanitarian aid. The gossipers will feel very, very guilty. * Nip it in the bud. You have information so juicy, you begin to blab. But stop and think: What if the subject were you? Perhaps at some point, it was. Relive that moment. You will find your mouth mysteriously closing. * Give ...