Insider Guide.(how to visit a sick friend )(weight loss tips)

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How to visit a sick friend

y Christine Kealy Kealy is the founder of In a Family Way, a doula service in New York City that assists new mothers. People will do anything to avoid visiting the sick, but when a friend is stuck in the hospital, a little distraction can make all the difference. * Time it right. Instead of coming in the morning, when the patient is likely to be having tests, try the early afternoon. Also consider dropping in on the weekend (those two days can feel like two weeks). Going with friends is sometimes easier for the patient than having people pop in all day. * Call ahead. Make sure your friend is up for visitors with a quick phone call. "I'm really not feeling well enough to see you," means exactly that, but if she says, "Oh, don't go to any trouble," that usually means "please come." * Everyone sends flowers. They're great, but it's even better to give something useful, such as toiletries (arrange moisturizer in a pump bottle and hand and facial wipes in a basket), cotton pajama bottoms, slippers, and a notebook and pens for jotting down doctors' instructions. Bring magazines and newspapers; most patients don't have the attention span for books. * Remember why you're there. Don't fill voids with long anecdotes or chatter about yourself. Keep things light, allow your friend to talk, ask questions, and -- most of all -- don't make her feel like she has to entertain you. Step out of the room any time a doctor comes in, and never ask the medical staff questions (unless you are the primary caregiver, of course). * Make yourself useful. Refill the water pitcher, toss dead flowers, and organize the bedside table. Ask if there are any phone ...