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The funniest thing has happened in my life. Not funny ha, ha, but funny weird. A clumsy stranger has moved in with me. She's bossy and rude and inconsiderate, and she does things I wouldn't even THINK of doing!
She stutters and stammers and slurs her words like she's drunk, or rather, she causes me to stutter and stammer and slurr my words. She somehow has used her devilish witchery to cause me to do it.
She sneaks up and grabs my foot when I'm going down steps, and pushes it back so that it hits the riser and almost causes me to fall. She has absolutely no qualms about pushing me down so that I plop back onto the seat, or pushing me so that I lose my …