How to manage your clients' emotions.(includes related article on how to mediate in disputes)

Publication: Outlook

Publication Date: 22-JUN-99

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COPYRIGHT 1999 California Society of Certified Public Accountants

Keeping business on track when feelings run high

First off, let's dispense with the popular myth that business and emotions don't mix. At the heart of every business transaction lies one or more driving emotions, including competition, fear, satisfaction, jealousy, revenge, hope, spite or even boredom. The complex emotions that drive us to take risks, plan for the future, protect our families, squash our enemies and push ourselves to new heights are at play in every aspect of our lives, and that seems especially true for the entrepreneurs who pour themselves into the businesses they create.

It's no wonder, then, that CPAs often find themselves dealing with clients who are experiencing complicated, and occasionally explosive, emotions. Selling a business can be like losing a friend. Estate planning reminds us of our mortality, and forces us to deal with the shortcomings of our survivors. Dealing with the loss of a relative - and the complicated financial aftermath - can be wrenching as well. And even receiving a sudden windfall can be disorienting, to say the least.

Experienced CPAs know that they can't get down to business until they deal with the emotions the business transaction is dredging up. But how do you get your clients to tell you what is really bothering them? How are you supposed to respond? When should you seek outside professional help? And after you've uncovered the emotional foundations of the transaction, how can you help your clients refocus on the business at hand?

We asked several CPAs and professional psychologists with expensive experience in dealing with emotional clients to share their strategies for handling these difficult and often high-stress situations.

The First Step: Listen

In many emotionally charged situations, all your clients want is a sympathetic ear. They just want to rant a little bit before they get down to business.

"I let them vent. I let them go. I let them scream. I let them cry. What I try to do is break down their concerns what's causing the emotions - into components, and pull them away one by one until we finally get to the core of what the problem is,"...

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