ask mrs. exeter; It's December-out with the old.

One of the mixed blessings of a large house in the suburbs with a grand attic is it can take forever before you notice that you have piled up a few decades' worth of apparel.

I am thinking of purging my closets, sorting things, giving them away. It just feels right to do it now, in time for the holidays-and, I hope, helpful to the charity thrift shops nearby.

Is it acceptable to give something gently worn as a wonderful gift to a friend or relation? Can I just phone up the museums, or must you be invited to donate?

What are the best means-and also what is the correct etiquette-of giving these goodies away?

First and foremost, I think there is absolutely nothing wrong with giving great pieces of clothing to friends, co-workers, employees, your daughter, nieces, or the girlfriends of your sons. Well-cared-for fine apparel-not ratty T-shirts and bathing suits, of course-is like jewelry: a wonderful and personal gift. And if you take your old furs and have them reworked as a lining for a trench coat, well, that is a little bit of all right, too.

In this age of heightened anxiety and woe, one cannot say enough about giving from the heart. I don't give a hoot how cliched it may sound. I am reminded of the British Spectator report of the recent passing of the author Nigel Nicolson, the son of Vita Sackville-West and Harold Nicolson. Nigel adored welcoming tourists at Sissinghurst. Even if they wandered into his private quarters, he would take them for a tour or, weather permitting, show them around the famous garden. "He had no financial motive for this, since all takings go to the National Trust," Charles Moore wrote. "No, it was just a generosity of spirit, a sort of secular saintliness which put a greater value on what is shared than what is owned."

Wonderfully expressed, don't you think?