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Byline: Tara Solomon
Dear Advice Diva:
I am a 40-year-old professional woman. I recently found out that cold sores can be sexually transmitted when the man I was seeing told me that he had developed herpes. Because I confirmed that I have occasionally had oral cold sores since childhood, this man thinks I knew I had an STD that I didn't disclose to him. (I had no apparent cold sore and most people with oral cold sores don't consider that they have an STD anyhow, do they?)
I even provided him with recent medical literature that states that cold sores are, in fact, not sexually transmitted _ something I believed my entire life and had no reason to ever question. That this information has just been proven wrong doesn't negate my innocent state of mind. Nevertheless, this man dumped me, and refuses to even speak with me.
With minimal research he could easily confirm that I had no clue that this was transmittable. Furthermore, regardless of location, herpes is only an occasional, highly treatable skin condition. Given the circumstances, why blame me and end a great relationship? Do you think there is any way to salvage this relationship? I am completely heartbroken over this.
_ Sad and Confused
Dear Sad and Confused: