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Herpes mis-info caused breakup.(Knight Ridder Newspapers)

Knight Ridder/Tribune News Service

| February 01, 2005 | Solomon, Tara | COPYRIGHT 2005 McClatchy-Tribune Information Services. This material is published under license from the publisher through the Gale Group, Farmington Hills, Michigan.  All inquiries regarding rights should be directed to the Gale Group. (Hide copyright information)Copyright

Byline: Tara Solomon

Dear Advice Diva:

I am a 40-year-old professional woman. I recently found out that cold sores can be sexually transmitted when the man I was seeing told me that he had developed herpes. Because I confirmed that I have occasionally had oral cold sores since childhood, this man thinks I knew I had an STD that I didn't disclose to him. (I had no apparent cold sore and most people with oral cold sores don't consider that they have an STD anyhow, do they?)

I even provided him with recent medical literature that states that cold sores are, in fact, not sexually transmitted _ something I believed my entire life and had no reason to ever question. That this information has just been proven wrong doesn't negate my innocent state of mind. Nevertheless, this man dumped me, and refuses to even speak with me.

With minimal research he could easily confirm that I had no clue that this was transmittable. Furthermore, regardless of location, herpes is only an occasional, highly treatable skin condition. Given the circumstances, why blame me and end a great relationship? Do you think there is any way to salvage this relationship? I am completely heartbroken over this.

_ Sad and Confused

Dear Sad and Confused:

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