Here's how to get a senator's full attention.(Knight Ridder Newspapers)

MYRTLE BEACH, S.C. _ I have found a fool-proof way to make sure your political representatives remember you, and in the interest of the public, because that's why we're here (well, there is that Poo-litzer Prize for public service), I pass this tip to you.

Here's what you do: Steal your legislator's car keys.

That's radical, granted, but answer me this: How often has your state legislator come looking for you?

My method is field-tested and 100 percent effective. Here's the scenario: Last Thursday, my bosses sent me to the Greek festival at St. John the Baptist Greek Orthodox Church in Myrtle Beach.

Ever on the lookout for that fresh angle, I decided to talk to the cooks, because the Greek festival is really about the food. I wanted to talk to someone about clarifying butter, an important element in baking Greek pastries.

So I stood at the Greek kitchen, and next to me stood a slender, talkative young man. He turned to me and asked: "What do you do?" Then: "What's your name?" Then: "Oh, yeah. I've read you. I think. You're not the Thursday guy." By which he meant I'm not Celia Rivenbark.

I returned the question: "What do you do?"