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Author urges moms, dads to turn off `parent alarm'.(Knight Ridder Newspapers)

Knight Ridder/Tribune News Service

| October 01, 2002 | FitzGerald, Susan | COPYRIGHT 2002 Knight-Ridder/Tribune News Service. This material is published under license from the publisher through the Gale Group, Farmington Hills, Michigan.  All inquiries regarding rights should be directed to the Gale Group. (Hide copyright information)Copyright

PHILADELPHIA _ Pediatrician Kenneth Ginsburg calls it the "parent alarm," and it goes like this:

The minute parents hear the beginnings of something potentially troubling from their preteen or teen, they stop listening and start lecturing. Instead of seizing the chance for a thoughtful conversation about the issue at hand, parents interrupt their child and jump in with what they think are the answers.

For instance, if a teen-age girl says, "Mom, I met this guy," the parent, in alarm mode, will cut her off with "You're too young to date," and then proceed with a litany of reasons why dating can be dangerous.

The end result, Ginsburg says, is that instead of an "Ah-Hah!" moment _ what the parent intended _ the adolescent hears "Blah, blah, blah."

"I think the parent alarm is a disaster," says Ginsburg, a specialist in adolescent medicine at Children's ...

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