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PHILADELPHIA _ Pediatrician Kenneth Ginsburg calls it the "parent alarm," and it goes like this:
The minute parents hear the beginnings of something potentially troubling from their preteen or teen, they stop listening and start lecturing. Instead of seizing the chance for a thoughtful conversation about the issue at hand, parents interrupt their child and jump in with what they think are the answers.
For instance, if a teen-age girl says, "Mom, I met this guy," the parent, in alarm mode, will cut her off with "You're too young to date," and then proceed with a litany of reasons why dating can be dangerous.
The end result, Ginsburg says, is that instead of an "Ah-Hah!" moment _ what the parent intended _ the adolescent hears "Blah, blah, blah."
"I think the parent alarm is a disaster," says Ginsburg, a specialist in adolescent medicine at Children's ...