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Commitment ceremony does not solve legal arrangements.

Knight Ridder/Tribune News Service

| August 01, 2003 | Graham, Judith | COPYRIGHT 2003 McClatchy-Tribune Information Services. This material is published under license from the publisher through the Gale Group, Farmington Hills, Michigan.  All inquiries regarding rights should be directed to the Gale Group. (Hide copyright information)Copyright

Byline: Judith Graham

DENVER _ The attraction was immediate when Lewis Thompson met Laurin Foxworth 13 years ago at a men's retreat in Michigan. But the Ford engineer and the high school social studies teacher were married at the time, with children and a deep commitment to their wives.

Thompson, 57, had never felt anything quite like it. "With my wife, it was like we were soul mates. This was something physical I hadn't experienced with her."

For years, the two men corresponded, gradually opening their hearts to each other. The relationship intensified as their marriages deteriorated. Both men began seeing therapists. The more they struggled with their feelings, the more they began to realize what their feelings truly were.

In their youth, admitting they were gay had been "like being a leper or a drug addict" although they had been secretly attracted to boys, said Foxworth, 77.

In eighth grade, Thompson read Bible texts daily to his mother and thought he might become a Methodist minister. Foxworth, raised a Baptist, at one point planned to become a Navy chaplain.

For both, marriage had been a confirmation that they were normal and could lead ordinary lives. The children _ Foxworth has five, Thompson two _ were a blessing.

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