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Chaplain offers words of advice on loss.(Knight Ridder Newspapers)

Publication: Knight Ridder/Tribune News Service

Publication Date: 31-JUL-01

Author: Fukushima, Rhoda
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COPYRIGHT 2001 Knight-Ridder/Tribune News Service

ST. PAUL, Minn. _ When her best friend's baby died, Andra Adolfson called her mother for advice. She did not know what to do, she told Mary Farr. Should she call now? Should she wait a few days? What should she say? She could tick off many reasons to postpone the inevitable.

Farr, a St. Paul resident and Episcopal chaplain, suggested Andra call her friend _ now.

"Tell her you love her," she advised. "And that you'll call back later."

Andra took the advice. Her gestures meant much to her friend. While loss doesn't always involve death, it often spawns awkward, uncomfortable moments. What do you say when...

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