Journey into the male mind: a quick-and-easy roadmap to understanding your mate.

IF YOU'RE LIKE MANY WOMEN BETWEEN THE ages of 20 and sag 90, you regularly find things about men that perplex and exasperate you. While you may know the apostle Paul challenges us to "be patient, bearing with one another in love" (Ephesians 4:2), Paul doesn't live in your house with that man.

Through 15 years of marriage, we've had our share of vexing moments. More than once, one of us (who shall remain nameless) obsessed about a televised sporting event while the other asked a simple question about home decor. This led to less-than-constructive "interchanges" about the relative merits of spectator sports and "real life." These events--and others involving more volatile topics such as sex, career decisions, and parenting--only highlight the differences between men and women.

So as co-leaders of a church group designed for newly married couples, we decided to informally survey the women in our ministry. We asked them to tell us what puzzled them, frustrated them, and confused them about their husband.

Their answers are best summed up in three seeming mysteries:

Adventure and challenge: What's so important about sports and competition? Why does he watch them on TV so much?

Communication and closeness: Why doesn't he talk to me more? Why does he forget what we talked about last night?

Sex and intimacy: Why's he so interested in sex? And how can he expect it after paying more attention to his favorite team than to …