It's natural for daughter to want to connect with her biological dad.(Knight Ridder Newspapers)

Dear Advice Diva:

I had a baby in my junior year of high school with my boyfriend. I never told him about the baby because I was going to give her up for adoption. Her birthday is less than a month away and she's already informed my husband and me that all she wants is to meet her biological father. She's very close to her stepdad and he is OK with her wanting to meet "Trent."

Well, I'm not. I haven't spoken to him in 14 years. He is married and has children of his own. I don't even know how to reach him. I need sensible advice.

_P.

Dear P.:

Your daughter's curiosity has caused some issues to resurface for you and it's time to deal with them. It is natural for her to want to connect with her biological father _ and bravo to her stepdad for acknowledging this in a mature manner. Did you think she'd never mention her birth dad?

It is the biological father's right to know. Will it cause ripples in his world? Most certainly. But your allegiance must be to your daughter. Find her father's whereabouts on the Internet (it's quite easy) and call him in private. Offer your regrets for not having told him sooner and, if he's receptive, suggest a meeting with you and your daughter in a public place such as a park.