When it comes to spanking, stick to the facts.(Knight Ridder Newspapers)

"You ought to be ashamed of yourself for endorsing spanking in a recent column! Of all people, you should know that spankings often escalate into child abuse, and even when they don't, they teach children that hitting other people is OK. Teaching a child to resolve conflict peacefully starts with never hitting the child."

The above is a composite, representing the many letters of protest sent in response to a recent column in which I told the true story of a mom who spanked her 3-year-old for deliberately and with rebellious forethought pooping on his bedroom floor when sent to his room for time out. The spankings, of which there were three, in combination with taking favorite toys away, were persuasive.

Realizing that facts often do not matter to people who hold zealous opinions, I am going to offer some facts about spanking. But first, a clarification: I have never used this column to ``endorse'' spankings. In this case, I told a story, the point of which was that firm discipline can and often does cure behavior problems that mental health professionals might ascribe to deep-seated psychological causes.

I do not think spankings are essential to good discipline: however, I am not persuaded that spankings per se are bad. Furthermore, I recognize that there are disciplinary situations (for example, the one above) in which spankings are effective.

"Yes, John,'' someone is saying, "but there is always an alternative."

That's true, but it begs the crucial question: Would the alternative have been as effective? Anyway, to the facts:

Spankings do not easily or normally escalate into child abuse. Of the many parents who spank, a truly miniscule number actually abuse their children. In most cases, spankings ``de-escalate'' as a child matures.