Private Accounting.(management of personal finances)

Byline: EDITOR: ALEXANDRA KOTUR

KEEP MONEY TALKS GENERAL, SAYS WILLIAM NORWICH. IT'S CALLED PERSONAL FINANCE FOR A REASON.

The first time it happened, I didn't know how to respond.

At a party, I complimented a work acquaintance's husband on looking trim and fit. "Well, besides losing my job, I also lost all my investments, and I had planned to retire in five years," he said. "I better stay in shape, since I am going to have to keep working for as long as I can."

What was the polite response? Should I commiserate? All I could think of were platitudes. Would a joke help? Get me Tina Fey! A further complication: Didn't our polite mentors teach us that talking about money was very bad manners? Given today's economic climate, however, adhering to this rule would be impossible if not absurdlike not acknowledging an elephant in the living room. The manners mavens didn't mean it is vulgar to talk about money because money is dirty but because, except with a few close family and good friends, it is too personal. Talking about it in an ill-considered way can invite compare-and-despair for the financially challenged; on the flip side, it may induce guilt in the still well heeled. Consider some considered ways to navigate the topic.

Everyone now is on a budget, so don't apologize if a friend proposes going to a restaurant or spending beyond your means. Simply say, "I can't afford it. How about we [propose alternate activity here] instead?"

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