The battle of the bins.

(From Western Daily Press)

Sir Francis Drake would turn in his grave if he could hear what is being proposed by his local council down the M5 in Plymouth - and the rest of us should start worrying now.

For this is the age of rubbish; an era when disposing of it has become such an issue that some Devonians face being asked invasive questions about why they have so much of it.

The city council in Plymouth has drafted a letter which would ask each household to nominate an adult who would be the legal guardian of the bin, and which would go on to ask what kind of rubbish they plan to throw out - any nappies, anything resulting from medical problems, for a start.

What would Drake have done, in a modern twist on the legend, as he played bowls on the Hoe and spotted an armada of council rubbish snoopers approaching? I hope he would have calmly finished his game and then gone on the attack, sinking the lot of them as he did the Spanish all those years ago.

Maybe some modern hero will follow in his footsteps and stand up for common sense, perhaps mixing their bottles up with their cardboard as a sign of resistance.

In later years, a statue will be erected next to Drake's, looking out to sea, in memory of a hero of the war against rubbish ideas. Except that, thanks to global warming, the Hoe will probably be under the sea by then.