Personals Ad.(Poem)

 
PERSONALS AD 
 
   Luscious blonde Renaissance woman seeks Medici-style male human 
   (Or alternatively, single man with time upon his hands) 
   For the joys of conversation; food and drink; denunciation 
   Of the follies of the age and of all major sporting brands. 
 
   Should I mention the attraction of a little fresh attention 
   From a lady who can spell "phenomenon" without a qualm? 
   I can wow a group of fogies with a discourse on the Logies 
   And have torn in half a copy of The Little Book of Calm. 
 
   Otherwise I am all mildness; I am unwed and quite childless 
   And I've made my way alone, well used to living on my wits. 
   Though by God with bounties showered, I'm afraid I am undowered 
   Save for brains and natural cunning and a decent set of secondary 
   sexual characteristics. 
 
   You're articulate and well-read; you don't have to be a breadhead 
   And I'm used to men who simply don't put down the toilet lid. 
   With things cultural I'm au courant; I look good in Yves St Laurent 
   (Which I buy from second-hand shops for a princely seven quid). 
  ...