This little piggy went to vodka market.

(From Off Licence News)

So-called style bars have long been fond of making weird versions of vodka by dunking Dime bars and bits of mint Aero in them, but few have yet cottoned on to the delights of bacon vodka.

An internet blogger has handily shared the recipe for making the stuff, but we can' help thinking Heston Blumenthal would be able to bring a little more finesse to the exercise. Anyway, here goes: l Fry up three strips of bacon l Add the cooked bacon to a clean pint-sized mason jar (we think they mean "put the bacon in the jar" rather than perform some arithmetical feat with the two). Trim the ends of the rashers if they are too tall to fit in the jar l Add crushed black peppercorns (optional) l Fill the jar up with vodka. Cap and place in a dark cupboard for at least three weeks l Place the bacon vodka in the freezer to solidify the fats. Strain out the fats through a coffee filter to give a clear, filtered, pale yellow bacon vodka l Decant into decorative bottles - and enjoy (again optional, we presume).

Michigan mower man News reaches us that a man in Michigan has been arrested on suspicion of being drunk in charge of a lawnmower.

Frank Kozumplik took the vehicle through a snowstorm to buy wine at a Alocal liquor store and was caught with four bottles of wine on the return journey and blood alcohol two-and-a-half times above the state limit.

Kozumplik (surely the practice of buying alcohol by lawnmower will hitherto be known as "doing a Kozumplik" ) explained the matter away by saying that his wife had taken the car to work so he had no other way of getting to the store.

So, let's get this straight: you're saying that if she hadn' got the car you'd, just have gone in that instead, and that would have been all right, would it? Police confiscated the lawnmower - but maybe they would have been better advised to confiscate Kozumplik.