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Hearing Voices.(on marriage and being a wife)(Essay)

Allure

| July 01, 2008 | Strayed, Cheryl | COPYRIGHT 2008 All rights reserved. Reproduced by permission of The Condé Nast Publications Inc. This material is published under license from the publisher through the Gale Group, Farmington Hills, Michigan.  All inquiries regarding rights should be directed to the Gale Group. (Hide copyright information)Copyright

Byline: Cheryl Strayed

No matter how honest we are with ourselves, or how uninhibited we may seem, there are some truths that remain almost unspeakable.

I got married because I didn't listen, though that's not it precisely. I listened but couldn't speak. I could speak, but couldn't find the words. Found the words, but lost my voice. Couldn't say, "I love you, but I made a mistake when I said yes. I love you, but I was just being my impulsive, passionate self by agreeing to be your wife. I love you, but I can't marry you."

Instead, I put on the big white dress my mother had sewn for me, walked up a path my stepfather had cut into the woods behind ...

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