Hello-Bent.

Byline: EDITOR: ALEXANDRA KOTUR

William Norwich navigates the fraught world of social greetings.

All greetings in social life are like a dance, an exercise in timing.

Consider the dilemma of social kissing, once a cozy, comme il faut import from the warm-blooded European countries, whose ubiquity has rendered it meaningless. For some people only mildly acquainted or even meeting for the first time, it has replaced the handshake. Isn't that a bit much? You're perfectly within your rights to discourage a kiss, but do so without causing offense.

Here it comes, the kiss. You can either grin and bear it--politely, of course. Or lean back, smile, and say softly, "I'm afraid I might be coming down with a cold! How are you?" The trick is always to move the action along, never abandoning anyone to feel awkward midair or mid-sentence. Eventually everyone will get the memo: Even real best friends aren't kissing anymore but clasping hands, touching arms, or gently hugging.

Another situation: At a cocktail party, a friend could not believe her bad luck. There were more than 100 guests, but she came face-to-face with her least-favorite person. Unless you are a master of the snub or the writers of Gossip Girl have scripted something for you, keep your enemies close. (Which is what our friend did.) Feign a warm hello or "What a pretty dress!" or "Isn't it great to be here celebrating Daisy's thirtieth?" and then pretend you have just seen ...