The three most important choices: your marriage depends on them.

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Several years ago a movie called Family Man came out. The story begins with Jack and Kate, a committed couple whose relationship seems destined to end in marriage. But then Jack receives a chance to go to Europe to study for a year. At the airport as they're saying goodbye to each other, Kate gets a funny feeling that if he leaves, it won't be a good choice for their relationship.

"Wait," Kate says. "I have a really bad feeling.... I know we've talked about this a thousand times, and we agreed that you going to London was the right thing to do. But in my heart this feels wrong.... Let's flush the plan. Let's start our lives right now, today. I mean, I have no idea what this life is going to look like, but I know it has the both of us in it and I choose us. The plan doesn't make us great, Jack. What we have together, that's what makes us great."

Jack tells her he loves her and "one year in London is not going to change that. A 100 years couldn't change that." And he boards the plane.

Marriage is about choices. At the altar, many couples say, I choose us, but what they're really saying is, I choose you to help me be happier and to be more fulfilled and to have more fun. I choose you to help me feel better about me.

Ultimately, that's a different choice from the one God calls us to in a Christ-centered marriage. So what are God's choices?

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after many years studying couples, marriage researcher John Gottman found a determiner for why some couples make it in their marriage and others don't. He discovered those who thought negatively about their spouse were more likely to divorce than those who thought positively, or assumed the best, about their spouse. …