Principled negotiation builds on women's styles.

There's a huge paradox in women's leadership. In order to be seen as an effective leader, women have to be liked. If we're seen as too aggressive or controlling, our leadership effectiveness is questioned. This situation hinders women's attempts at many activities including effective negotiation.

Men initiate negotiations four times more frequently than women do. Most negotiations are focused solely on the bottom line and ignore the human component. During negotiations women often sell themselves short, believing little is available to them, so they ask for up to 30% less than their male peers.

Unlike the hardball tactics so often identified with males, the concept of principled negotiation utilizes women's preferred behavioral styles of problem solving and collaboration. This concept emphasizes shared problem solving and separates relationships from the problem.

Therese "Lynn" Slanec is no stranger to negotiation. As an adjunct faculty member at Michigan's Spring Arbor University and enrichment coordinator at the Petoskey Middle School in Michigan, she often negotiates salary and benefits. Her research and experience formed the core of a presentation at the University of Nebraska's Women in Educational Leadership conference in Lincoln in October.

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Positional bargaining

"Traditional positional bargaining involves stances, concessions and win-lose agreements that often lead to tradeoffs and dissatisfaction on both sides," said Slanec. Principled negotiation "creates an atmosphere that is soft on the people and hard on the problem."