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Escape on the Mekong: I wanted to make the same journey in reverse, without fear.(TRANSFORMATIONS)

Colorlines Magazine

| July 01, 2007 | Cheun, Lian | COPYRIGHT 2007 Color Lines Magazine. This material is published under license from the publisher through the Gale Group, Farmington Hills, Michigan.  All inquiries regarding rights should be directed to the Gale Group. (Hide copyright information)Copyright

WHEN I WAS 22 DAYS OLD, my mom cradled me gently as we drifted along the Mekong River. It was the evening of Cambodian New Year. The Khmer Rouge soldiers were drunk, making it the perfect night for our family to escape. My dad made a small raft that stayed afloat long enough for us to reach Laos. From Laos we found our way to Thailand, where we lived in a refugee camp. Three years later, we were sent to a reprocessing center in the Philippines. Finally, after six months, we were approved for resettlement to the U.S.

[ILLUSTRATION OMITTED]

Not all of my family members survived the genocide in Cambodia. Wounds from the past still haunt my parents. Traces of the labor camp and the refugee camp persist in our lives to this day, sometimes through our health problems and other times through nightmares and unexplainable dreams.

When I was about 10 years old, I often woke up in the middle of the night to my father's screams. He was having a nightmare again. Maybe it was of the time he was chased through the jungle with bullets streaming past him, or maybe of the time he watched his friends die. I never found out exactly--I was always too afraid to ask. My siblings were soundly asleep next to me. I would curl up into a little ball on my corner of the bed and pull the covers over my head.

Sometimes the next day, my father would take a morning off work and also take me out of school. In his little blue hoopty, we would go to the welfare office, the DMV or the INS office. I would help my father by translating application forms and instructions. By the time we got home, I had to rush to get the rice cooking. My father would leave for his night shift after my mom, who was a seamstress in a sweatshop, came home.

I found that I actually missed those days, as our family's problems got worse into my twenties. For the last two years, we've struggled to hold on to our house in California, which was cited by the city for housing code violations that have cost us hundreds of thousands of dollars to fix. I had to manage the construction project that dragged us ...

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