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Byline: Marina Rust
No. Why is a word that comes so easily to my two-year-old so difficult for me? Moms are used to saying yes. That's what got us into this situation in the first place. Once, we were in touch with our immediate wants and needs. To protect and prioritize precious time, it's time to relearn two.
I have two daughters, and I have help. (What is the derivation of au pair-autre pair? Another pair of hands?) But even with all hands on deck, you want to be there.
When you have children, priorities change. Sometimes, there's a lag-like eating, when your stomach takes fifteen minutes before telling your brain it's full. That's what it was like for me, learning to say no.
It dawned on me slowly. I was at a book party for the former president, a man I greatly admire. People said he was going to give a talk, but I kept looking at my friend's watch. All I could think was if I left right now, I could read to Caroline before bed. I left. It felt good.
So I don't go to book parties anymore.
Basketball coach Bobby Knight used to say to his players, "It's easy to turn a no into a yes, but much harder to turn a yes into a no." I think he was talking about drugs and free cars, but the rule works for moms, too.