|
COPYRIGHT 2007 All rights reserved. Reproduced by permission of The Condé Nast Publications Inc.
The first time I visited Texas, I wore a beige polyester-blend lab coat with reinforced slits for pocket access and mechanical-pencil storage. I was attending a local booksellers' convention, having just co-written a pseudoscientific book about how to regain your virginity, and my publicist suggested that the doctor getup would attract attention. It did. Everyone thought I was the janitor. Lesson No. 1: When in Texas, do not dress down.
A few weeks ago, I returned to Texas, my luggage this time crammed with the best that my closet had to offer. Wrong again. In my sombre New York clothes, I was the sole black-and-white TV in a showroom of high-def plasma screens. Lesson No. 2: The Lone Star palette is sparkly sea green, sunshine yellow, lavender flecked with gold, and turquoise--lots and lots of turquoise.
And the prevailing dress code is Cinderella after the fairy godmother has turned her rags into glittery silk chiffon, brocade, and taffeta. (Dallas's brand-new Barneys, misjudging the tastes of its clientele, chronically understocks its formalwear.) If there is a bodice, it is beaded or ruched or encrusted with crystal drops. If you can walk in your shoes, the heel is not high enough. Not that you will ever travel by foot here in the land of mega-S.U.V.s. "We'd like a table for five, sir," I overheard a woman say to the maitre d' at the Bistro Moderne (2525 West Loop South). "And we don't want to walk."
Chances are, assuming you are a Someone, you will attend a charity luncheon today and three black-tie benefits tonight--one of which is being held in your honor to thank you for chairing the other two. If you are a Very Important Someone, you will be celebrated next month as one of the Best Dressed Women in Houston at the gala co-sponsored by Neiman Marcus to benefit the March of Dimes (which will be a long march, considering the approximately six million dimes that are expected to be raised). In Texas, fashion fuels fund-raising, fund-raising fuels fashion, and fossil fuel fuels them both.
The theme of one of the evening's events is sure to be Candy Land/Tango/Mardi Gras/Saturday Night Live/Las Vegas/Southern Nights, and don't forget that you are encouraged to be costumed accordingly. Your photograph will duly appear in the next issue of Paper City, the groovy document of fashion and society published monthly in Dallas and Houston (separate editions). Lesson No. 3: Don't even think about putting on the same Oscar de la Renta for tomorrow night's ball.
In other words, I learned, it behooves you to shop. Let's start in Houston, where the mishmash of motorways is known...
Read the full article for free courtesy of your local library.
|
Bookmark this article
Print this article
Link to this article
Email this article
Digg It!
Add to del.icio.us
RSS
