ask mrs. exeter; Will more room make a man swoon.

Question: I am a recently divorced mother of two, with good work and some means. I am dating again and need a wardrobe that is sexy but not tawdry, that shows curves rather than throws ironic curveballs that only fashionistas understand. For myself, I am inclined to like Rick Owens and Marni, but for dating I want to up the wattage without looking like a boldfaced teen star. Dresses are the big news in the current collections, I see, but I am dissuaded by many of the styles, such as the baby doll, the Empire waist, party poufs, and those frocks I can describe only as tulips extremis. Where can I find pretty, pleasing dresses that are not too short, too sheer, or too weird to please a man, and please myself, Mrs. Exeter?

Answer: My understanding of French history-which comes from my appreciation of the furniture, of course-is that Napoleon pushed the Empire style because he feared that the corset interfered with pregnancy. (He was trying to build an empire and needed a population of future soldiers.) Is it a significant cultural indicator that dresses without waists are now the rage-it is wartime again, and the armed services need recruits? I would be very sad to think so.

Well, I don't know how this bodes for retail now, but the women in Napoleon's time never entirely abandoned their corsets. The waist is one of the more seductive zones a lady has to show for herself!

Yes, a dress is a good idea for dating-"Feel like a woman, wear a dress," Diane von Furstenberg has famously said-but with so many voluminous styles available, as you describe, great consideration, especially for women of a certain age, must be taken.

"We talk about this here all the time, especially for spring, which is such a dress season, and all about volume," said Brian Bolke. With Shelly Musselman, he is one of the owners of Forty Five Ten, probably the trendiest fashion store in Dallas. The morning I received your letter, we were chatting about an event for one of my favorite young designers, Doo-Ri Chung, in Dallas on April 12, in conjunction with the Dallas Museum of Art.

"Men understand anything with a waist. They don't understand Empire or baby doll," Brian continued. "I can't tell you how many dresses we've had returned because although somebody amazingly chic has bought something amazingly chic, she nonetheless walked down the stairs of her house and her husband said, 'What in the hell are you wearing?' "

Save your fashion experimenting for socializing with your friends, or to wear to work in some sort of creative "fun" office. For dating, anything that accentuates the waist is your best bet.