Ask mrs. exeter; How to thank the people who've mended your hems, walked your pug, and eased you into tree pose all year long.

Question:_What is the latest thinking in holiday thank-you presents for the people who have supported us during the year? Devoted doormen, yoga instructors, helpful acquaintances, neighbors, our children's teachers . . . it is a long list. Do you think cash is crass, Mrs. Exeter?

Isn't a nice, meaningful present better? What gifts do you suggest, especially if the recipients are exceedingly stylish-as, for instance, my hairdresser certainly is?

Answer:_Cash is only crass if you talk about it. Sharing yours with those with less is nice for them and good for you. Generosity of both spirit and pocketbook is a muscle that must be regularly used or it will atrophy.

Of course, your list distinguishes two groups, those whom you would never give cash to (the neighbor who watched your cat while you were in Corfu, children's teachers, and the like) and the people you tip throughout the year (tailors, doormen, drivers, those magicians at Shoe Service Plus), whom you will want to give cash to now. But it is also nice at this time of year to personalize the cash gift with a small, meaningful present and a handwritten, heartfelt note on your best stationery (from, to mention a few purveyors, Terrapin, Cartier, Benetton, and Smythson-although I am a bit annoyed with Smythson for discontinuing their casino-green leather line, especially the small address books, but never mind).

For neighbors, acquaintances, doctors, et cetera, something manageable-a gadget from the Sharper Image catalog for the men, something gentle like a monogrammed terry-cloth makeup purse from the Monogram Shop for the ladies-will do nicely. The success of your present will depend on the note you write and attach. It can be short, but it should be direct and specifically thankful. And a word of caution: I have noticed that giving beautiful leather boxes is especially popular lately. But an empty expensive box isn't, in my opinion, any more chic than giving an empty handbag, Hermes or otherwise, without at least securing a lucky penny inside. Include a handwritten note in that box, or a note and cash when appropriate. Or skip the box and stick with Fruit of the Month.

Here, then, are just a few of my favorite things this season.

In bulk, I have ordered from Heywood Hill booksellers on Curzon Street in London copies of Copper: A Dog's Life, by Annabel Goldsmith, ostensibly about a certain canine she loved, but really about so much more. It is this season's Counting My Chickens, by the dowager duchess of Devonshire, or Lee Radziwill's Happy Times.