Ode to Contractors Possessing Various Levels of Expertise.(Poem)

 
Ode to Contractors Possessing 
Various Levels of Expertise 
 
   This one's a shout out to the git-r-dones, 
   the crowd since Katrina most idolized 
   and sucked up to--seminude roofers, 
   hard-hatters, electricians, tree doctors, 
   Ditch Witch pilots dwelling in tent cities 
   or, like our lumberjacks, the Dollar General 
   parking lot. A round of drinks and first pick 
   of the MREs for you. Look--one thing 
   I've learned is what you had to do, you did. 
   They roughed it, and my hubby pimped me when 
   he had me with my sweet voice make the calls. 
   Soon they came in pairs, like yin and yang, 
   one to chain-smoke in the truck, the other 
   to get paid--in our case three grand up front 
   before Tangipahoa's understudies 
   of beanpole/rotund Rosencrantz and Guildenstern 
   would aim their crowbars at the fouled sheetrock. 
   With no other prospects we hired them 
   on the spot, feeling at once swindled 
   and spared on that first day and then the next 
   when nothing happened until dusk, and then 
   it came down all at once--skeleton walls 
   and sheetrock ready to float ...