When the child welfare system works.(TRANSFORMATIONS)

I'VE ALWAYS KNOWN THAT I AM QUEER. I see being queer as a fact of my existence, like how I'm female and Black. There were always girls that I liked; I knew they liked me too. It wasn't until my early teens that I realized most people regarded being queer as taboo and that my religious family would have a problem with it.

My parents raised my sister and me as Jehovah's Witnesses on Staten Island in New York City. We studied the Bible and were only allowed to be friends with people in our religion. So, my only option was to keep my sexual orientation a secret. Keeping up this appearance, however, began to hurt. I kept the real me buried so far inside me, and I felt depressed all the time.

When I was 16, I started talking to my guidance counselor. I finally had a place to talk in secret. But one day I came to her office and my parents were there. The counselor tried to get me to disclose my feelings. I didn't. But when we went home, there was an uncomfortable distance between my parents and me. So, I told them the truth, and the discomfort became hostile.

My mother told me that my sexual orientation was just a phase and that I needed to study the example of Jesus more to better understand the role of men in our lives. My father told me I had no right to believe anything other than what I was taught.

I ran away three times. I went to friends' houses or places where queer youth hung out, like the Village. Running away made me feel that I was in control. But I knew it was a temporary solution.

My mother tried putting me into the child welfare system voluntarily. However, the Administration of Children's Services' branch on Staten Island told us that I wasn't being abused or neglected, so I had to work this out with my family. Outside of the office, I told my mom that I would just run away again. That's when she took out the PINS ("person in need of supervision") petition to put me into the foster care system.

The departure from my parents' home was abrupt. I left behind three younger siblings that I loved. I didn't fully realize how much I missed my family until I was alone in a bedroom the city provided for me. My two sisters and I had shared ...