"I Made a Different Choice".

I have a four-year-old son. Donavan would have turned four years old this year in October. But we did not blow out any birthday candles.

I killed my son four years ago, when I was 18, by having an abortion. I thought then it was my only choice, my only way out of a very painful situation. What I did not understand at that time was that my "choice" was truly my child, my baby.

Everything started when I went to a party at a friend's house, and spiraled downhill from there. As the night at the party went on, men kept offering me drinks, and I finally decided to accept one. What I did not know was that there was more than just beer in the glass - - someone had added a drug. Soon after finishing the drink I lost consciousness, and then kept falling in and out of consciousness for moments at a time. That night I was raped by three men.

Three months later, I still had not gotten my period. I assumed it was because of all the stress the rapes had put me through. But I was pregnant, and I panicked. I was so afraid to tell someone because I just knew that I would be turned away. I had not told anyone about the rapes because I had been so ashamed, so I thought no one would believe how I had gotten pregnant. It seemed clear to me then that abortion was the only option that I had - - in fact, I made it the only option available. So three months into my pregnancy, I killed my own child.

I realize that I am among an extremely small percentage of women who have abortions because of rape. I also realize that many people feel abortion is justified in the case of rape, that ...