My parents are homos.(according to)

Publication: Curve

Publication Date: 01-DEC-03

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COPYRIGHT 2003 Curve Magazine, Outspoken Enterprises, San Francisco, CA 94102 (415) 863-6538

MY PARENTS ARE THE WORLD'S biggest homos. And I love them for it.

Of course, I mean "homo" in the loving, nonderogatory sense of the word. And it's undoubtedly the most accurate description for the two people responsible for creating who may be the gayest child in the goddamn universe.

For instance, my mother fondly tells me how I would play with trucks when I was a little girl. She says it's OK for children to play with any toy they want, regardless of the toy's predetermined gender audience.

"Yeah, Mom. Look at me--I turned out fine. You let me play with trucks and dressed me in pink nearly every day, and now I'm GAY, GAY, GAY!"

She shrugs. She suggests that I throw a fish-themed birthday party, since I'm a lesbian. "It fits, don't you think?" I throw a roll of crepe paper at her head and it misses by at least a foot. I may be a lesbo, but I never made it onto the softball team. Sigh.

When she's not...

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