Helping parents and children understand "Gender Identity Disorder". (Expert Speaks Out).

Most two-year-olds know whether they are boys or girls and can identify strangers as "mommies" or "daddies." By the age of three, children know that daddy has a penis and that mommy has breasts. They consistently apply gender labels, referring to boys and brothers as "he" and to girls and sisters as "she." They also classify personal characteristics, identifying gentle, empathic adults as women and strong and robust characters as men.

Young children also develop stereotypes regarding adult roles and careers: nurses, teachers, and secretaries are girls, while doctors, police officers, fire fighters, truck drivers, and super heroes are boys. They know that blocks, hammers, trucks and wrestling are for males, while pots and pans, dolls, and aprons are for females, and they generally avoid playing with toys associated with the other gender.

Social rules regarding the patterns of thinking and behavior that are appropriate for girls and for boys are pervasive and strongly reinforced by television, books and the expectations of both adults and children. The boy who wants to help the girls dress the dolls, or the girl who wants to be one of the space warriors, is likely to be soundly criticized by his or her friends. Those rare children who insist on gender-atypical behaviors and choices in spite of these strong cultural forces surely are expressing a strong central attribute of their personal makeup.

Parents can encourage boys and girls to enjoy both dramatic and competitive play, both stuffed animals and trucks, to be both effective leaders and cheerful followers, and to imagine a broad range of careers previously restricted primarily to one gender. It may be particularly important to encourage girls to assert themselves and boys to be nurturing, though difficult to counter the pervasive assumptions children experience regarding gender differences in the adult world.

When parents have had concerns about boys who seem to prefer female-identified activities, or girls who prefer typically male activities, physicians generally have reassured them about these preferences. They have been interpreted as evidence of their children's greater-than-average flexibility and thought to be consistent with typical child …