ONE POLL ONE VOTE.(ABC News Inc. (Australia), Kerry Burchett)(Brief Article)

LABOR WILL WIN the next federal election with a massive landslide majority of up to 99 per cent, according to a new opinion poll commissioned by ABC news and current affairs.

The new poll has an "inbuilt infallibility factor" that prevents it being wrong even if its predictions are not confirmed by events. Known as WISHT (for wishful thinking) the poll was given its first serious test in the recent Ryan by-election when it predicted an easy Labor victory and "earned full marks for accuracy," says ABC current affairs chief Kerry Burchett. "Who cares if the result turned into a cliffhanger instead of being handed to our side on a plate? It wasn't the poll's fault, it was the fault of a few stupid rednecks forgetting to vote the way the poll told them to.

"Viewers who followed our coverage on the night of the Ryan election will remember the astonishment of our reporter that the figures coming in could be so different from those predicted. He virtually accused the voters of getting it wrong. And, of course, so they had," says Burchett, who points out that voters who failed to "line up" with the ...