`Hey, didn't you used to be the Royals outfield?'.(sports humor)(Brief Article)

* The Spies're sayin' the return of T-Pups kingpin Kevin McHale is not exactly cause for exultation in Minny. Seems Kev's not fond of agent-types, which may sound as obvious as sayin' yer favorite Fly is not fond of divorce lawyers. But Kev's job is about 50 percent dealin' with the greasers, and he tends to let his disdain show, which can foil the art of the deal. "You don't have to like us," says one agent. "But you do have to pretend to like us."

* Fresh from the Rumorama: Word outta South Bend is scrub-turned-stud Malt LoVecchio will head back to Brillo status. Nice job, kid, but Coach Bob has got his rep pinned on incoming QB Carlyle Holiday. If LoVecchio needs some consolin', Fly knows a Major second-stringer in Austin who'll understand.

* Fly's not one fer the occult, but it does not take Father Lankester Merrin to notice that since Lil' Petey Martinez claimed he'd plunk the Babe in the you-know-where, he has got himself zero wins, a 5.16 ERA and a shoulder injury that might keep the Sawx outta the postseason. How many times Fly gotta tell ya, Petey, there're 1918 reasons you don't pick on the Babe.

* Sure, Vin ...