Confessions of a first-year academic. (In Her Own Words).

By Dr. Pat Shaw, assistant professor in educational psychology, University of Wisconsin-Stevens Point

Confession #1: I'm a Liar.

This is not really my first year of university teaching. Last year I was an associate lecturer in educational psychology as well as a supervisor of student teachers. After surviving the search and screen process and successfully (re) interviewing for my position, I am now an assistant professor doing much the same thing I did last year. Having earned a doctorate in 2001 at the age of 52, I am in my first year as an assistant professor, a real academic.

Confession #2: I'm Still Nervous.

Despite having a year of teaching in higher education under my belt, I feel like I'm starting over. Perhaps it's the new year with new students, or more likely, having a new title behind my name contributes to the "first year" jitters all over again. I have quickly learned that new responsibilities accompany the title, such as obligations to serve on committees, publish and present, advise students. They have created in my mind a new perspective of my job, one that seems much different from last year.

Confession #3: I'm Unsure When to Speak and When to Keep Quiet.

Those who know me well would be shocked at this admission. I have had a history, at least recently, of being quite capable of expressing myself at any given moment on almost any subject. And while I still have that capability, I'm not sure when to take that moment. My mentors have encouraged me to freely express my opinions on most any topic that arises in any conversation or meeting, public or private. Although I'm loosening up a bit, I'm also unsure of how my colleagues and students may respond. So I continue to cautiously wade, rather than jump, into deeper conversational and sometimes political waters.