No Can Do.(Poem)

 
NO CAN DO 
 
   You can empty the Nile with a shovel, 
   You can climb to the moon up a rope, 
   You can bat in the nude at the Oval, 
   You can model Atlantis in soap, 
   You can share a cigar with the devil, 
   Then enjoy a blind date with the pope 
   Where you sip aftershave from your navel 
   Sky-high on that Vatican dope, 
 
   But you can't get your kids out the bathroom, 
   Though you grouse and you gripe and you mope. 
   If your kids are booked into the bathroom 
   You had better abandon all hope. 
 
   You can train your twin ferrets to answer the phone, 
   You can see that they do it in Greek, 
   You can dram on your bum with a dinosaur bone, 
   If you think it improves your physique, 
   You can seethe like a haggis in eau-de-Cologne 
   Then hang from a hook for a week, 
   You can moan all alone in a coffin of stone 
   (It's an old meditation ...