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Instructions for the recently deceased. (Defence).(Humor)(Brief Article)

Quadrant

| July 01, 2002 | D'Arcy, Bruno | COPYRIGHT 2002 Quadrant Magazine Company, Inc. This material is published under license from the publisher through the Gale Group, Farmington Hills, Michigan. All inquiries regarding rights should be directed to the Gale Group. (Hide copyright information)Copyright

 
INSTRUCTIONS FOR THE RECENTLY DECEASED 
 
   1. Lie perfectly still. Do not attempt to breathe. 
   On no account try to call for help. 
 
   2. Soon you will feel very stiff. Do not be alarmed. 
   Don't panic. Whatever you do don't scream. 
 
   3. Then you will feel very cold. This is due to the 
   small space you once inhabited expanding. 
 
   4. Now discard previous notions of death. Everything 
   you heard before was from the living. What do they know? 
 
   5. This is not "the dead zone". If you see lights 
   do not ignore them--they are ...

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