Ranking the Final Four. (Remote Patrol).(college basketball)(Brief Article)

Acrony of mine insists the Final Four doesn't belong on the same pedestal as the NBA Finals or the Super Bowl; as evidence, he points out U2 isn't performing during any NCAA halftime. (He's a pro-Bono attorney. No, really.)

Bah! Compared with Other Sports Spectaculars, CBS' climax of March Madness definitely deserves a No. 1 seed.

Ratings: Final Fours get half that of NFL Final Fours. Yet last year's final tied the World Series average and beat the Rose Bowl and the averages for the NBA Finals and Stanley Cup.

Business: CBS is makin' money now. Let's talk next season, under the new 11-year tournament deal, as rights fees bump more than double to about $550 million annually, same as for the NFL and NBC's Salt Lake Olympics.

Made-for-TV odor: Like ABC's BCS affair, CBS claims minimal consultation in NCAA scheduling. However, airing the selection show a half-hour earlier made it a partner-in-crime with the selection committee, which had Cincinnati written in ink as the West's top seed, even after Oklahoma's selection Sunday upset of Kansas. Too late to re-bracket! Tsk-tsk.

Marketing: Procter & Gamble hasn't produced as many winning slogans as CBS over the last 20 years. The Road to (fill in the blank). Sweet 16. Elite Eight. Final Four. CBS didn't put Ally McBeal ads behind home plate but ran a promo for Baby Bob during Texas Tech's defeat. Bob Knight got a sitcom?

Audio: Clark Kellogg might be the best big-gamer behind a desk. Dude's got prescience (picking Cincinnati's upset) and personality (is he taking Charles Barkley pills?). Billy Packer doesn't sound like he enjoys life as much as Dick Vitale, Dick Enberg or Dick Button. Party pooper.