Your body speaks volume, but do you know what it is saying? (Personnel Matters).(body language and customer service)

Just the other day a salesperson told me that she would do whatever it took to make me happy, and that really angered me! Why would that be? Shouldn't I be thrilled that she was offering to do whatever it took to make me happy? No, because the words did not match her body language. As she was telling me she would do whatever it took to make me happy, she had her hands on her hips, her legs spread apart and was looking down at me. It really came off as, "You really are being a pain lady, so what does it take to get rid of you?" This salesperson will probably not realize why she lost a customer. Always remember that a person will listen more to your body language than to your spoken words!

You see, according to Ray Birdswhistell, over 65 to 90 percent of every conversation is interpreted through body language. We react more to what we think a person meant than to the actual words that are said. So, you need to think about whether your body language matches the words you are saying. If a person says, "You are doing a great job" with a big smile on their face and a relaxed body stance, you will probably believe them. On the other hand, if a person says, "You are doing a great job," and their teeth are gritted, they have a half smile and a stiff body, you will be confused as to what they really meant after they walk away. Most likely, you will feel that you are actually not working up to par, but you will not be sure why.

Body language is one of the best communication tools we have, yet so few of us ever learn how to read it. Actually, only about 4 percent of the population understands how to read body language. Think about the last messages you received from others that ticked you off. Was it really the words, tone of voice or the body language? By changing our voice tone on certain words or by adjusting our body language, we can give a completely different meaning to what we said. Take the statement "I did not tell her to not come to the party." If you say, "I did not tell her to not come to the party," it insinuates that someone else told her not to come. If you say, "I did not tell her to not come to the party," it insinuates that you may have suggested she not come, but you did not tell her not to come. If you say, "I did not tell her to not come to the party," it insinuates that you told someone else not to come to the party. If you say, "I did not tell her to not come to the party," it insinuates that you told her not t o come to another event. Therefore, you can see that many different interpretations can arise if emphasis is placed on a particular word.

As managers, it is imperative that you look at the body language you use and make sure it is congruent with your message. If you shift your eyes and look away a lot, your employees will not trust the message being given. If you raise your voice in a question while giving out quotas, it will sound as though you don't believe they are achievable. I once worked with a manager that had a terrible morale problem in the office. It turns out this manager asked his people what they wanted from him. They requested that he drop by their offices every once in a while and that they schedule regular meetings with him. He was doing both things, but the morale got even worse. When I came in to study the situation, I found that his body language was causing all the problems; it was very domineering! When he dropped by his employees' offices, he would take up the whole doorway or walk right in and up to their desk and look them in the eye--even if they were on the phone! This was very unnerving to people and definitely sent t he message that their space was his space. At the meetings, he would sit with his hands behind his head, ...