Walking the talk: when media worlds collide.(Know It All)

If nothing else, I'm a quick learner. Only hours earlier, the shuttle driver at the rental-car agency in Chicago nearly forced me off the bus when I hopped on with a Marlins cap.

Him: "What're ya, a freakin' comedian?"

Me: "I'm Steve Bartman's long-lost brother."

So this time, I'm not taking any chances. Even though they're my brethren at Sporting News Radio, and even though I was wearing the cap just to keep my slightly balding head warm--hey, I'm from Florida--I figure I don't need to make more enemies and leave the cap at the hotel. Besides, they called me up here to spend a Saturday night talking college football on the radio instead of taking in Saturday night on the Bayou. How tough could that be?

The beauty of being at a college football game is concentrating on every piece of useless minutia for four hours on end, all with the best seat in the house and no distractions. Somehow there are nine televisions in front of me in this 10-by-10 room at SNR, showing games all over the map. My God, I've died and gone to Touchdown Timmy Brando heaven.

Reality hits. Host Chet Coppock, as smooth as a Barry White voiceover, starts peppering me with questions. Who will be Illinois' next coach? Who can beat Oklahoma? Who will win the Heisman? Who wrote the book of love? I remember the SNR brass once saying something about a million national listeners per quarter hour, of ratings segments or however they analyze those things. And I'm thinking, what did I get myself into?

I've got one eye on ...