LET'S GO CRAWFORD.(finding George W. Bush's home in Crawford, Texas)

There are guides leading tours of the Washington, D.C., White House, but if you want to see the Western White House, in Crawford, Texas, where President Bush has been based for the past month, you have to take a self-guided tour, which goes like this: You leave New York and drive about sixteen hundred miles southwest, through New Jersey, Pennsylvania, Maryland, Virginia, Tennessee, and Arkansas. You take Interstate 35 to Waco, Texas, head west on Route 84 to McGregor, and then north on Highway 317, where you will see a "Welcome to Crawford" sign that features the President and the First Lady. In a few minutes, you're in the heart of Crawford.

On your right is the Flatiron Building-size granary, which says "Bush Country" at the top, and the one-room jailhouse; on your left is an empty lot filled with weeds and wildflowers, and then the Yellow Rose of Texas, one of many souvenir shops that went up after the President moved to town, four years ago. The Yellow Rose was featured in a recent photograph on the front page of the Lone Star Iconoclast; the caption said, "A patriotic horse watches over downtown Crawford from the roof of the Yellow Rose of Texas store as a pick-up passes through the intersection of Lone Star Parkway and Cedar Rock Parkway." In the Yellow Rose, there is a wide selection of gifts and souvenirs, including camouflaged beer-bottle cozies that say "Western White House" on one side and "We will not tire. We will not falter. We will not fail" on the other; and handguns, displayed in a mirrored case decorated with little hearts and the date "9-11-01."

Proceed west on Cedar Rock Parkway. Immediately on your left is the Coffee Station, which is where the President poses with the people of Crawford and where Cabinet members are said to eat burgers. It is a good place to buy a cold drink, especially if you happen to ...