'Pirates' from the Depp blue sea.

(From Philippine Daily Inquirer)

Byline: Ruel S. De Vera

IT'S NOT entirely surprising that Walt Disney Pictures' "The Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl" is based on a Disney theme park ride. Like that theme park attraction, "Pirates" is a fast-paced ride that won't give you nightmares. That's either a good or a bad thing, depending on how you approach "Pirates."

As a purposefully kid-friendly movie, there's neither gore nor sex here, a rarity for a pirate movie-or a zombie movie, for that matter.

But all the usual pirates trimmings are here, down to the noisy parrot. An unusual choice for director Gore Verbinski (who had helmed the US adaptation of "The Ring"), "Pirates" is the first lead vehicle for "Lord of the Rings" heartthrob Orlando Bloom, who plays handsome blacksmith Will Turner. Found adrift at sea as a young boy, Turner is rescued by Elizabeth Swann, the governor's daughter (played by feisty Keira Knightley from "Bend It Like Beckham"). Years later, the buccaneers from the ship The Black Pearl sail into town and kidnap Elizabeth. Incensed by the navy's refusal to go after her, Turner must defy the British navy to rescue his beloved Elizabeth.

Just one problem: Those pirates are actually the living dead. Cursed due to a horde of stolen Aztec gold, the Black Pearl's crew, skippered by Captain Barbossa (Geoffrey Rush), are trying to lift the curse, ostensibly by sacrificing Elizabeth's life.

Sterilized scenes