Adoptive parents respond.(Letter to the editor)

We are white parents of adoptive African-American children and one of us has an African-American adoptive sister. It's hard to be critical of Lisa Lerner's "Becoming a Mother, Questioning Everything" in the July/August issue, since criticism implies that we have it all figured out, which we certainly don't.

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But we definitely had reactions to the piece. Lerner goes through the process of believing that race makes no difference, to being shocked at her own reactions and in the end, settling into one version of color and culture blindness. Her friend's comment was telling, "After awhile, you don't really see what your children look like, but every so often it's like returning to your home after a very long vacation, and you can see it again for the very first time."

In other words, it's the luxury of seeing race when you choose as a white adult, as opposed to the reality of your child and millions of other children. This viewpoint doesn't even open up a discussion of how adoption by white parents generally impacts a child's connection with their birth community and culture. While people have different opinions on transracial adoption--in an ideal world and in the current realities--it would be at least important to agree that being colorblind in a racist and race conscious world is a real disservice to children.

This viewpoint dovetails with choices many white ...