Just for kicks: what happens when a desk jockey plays Gramatica? The feel-good story of '03 dissolves into one big pain in the ... leg. (Know It All).

Quick, pick the best position to play in football. Quarterback? Too much thinking to do in 3 1/2 seconds or less, and too many concussions. Receiver? Maybe, just don't ask me to go over the middle.

No, the best job belongs to the kickers. How hard can it be to trot on the field a few times a game, kick a ball and pick up a six-figure paycheck?

So when I hear former pro Louie Aguiar is holding a kicking camp near my home in St. Louis, I decide to put my leg to the test. I don't have any delusions of drilling 55-yarders, but having played plenty of soccer in high school, I figure I can hold my own after a few pointers. Of course, my wife thinks I'll be so impressive that NFL teams will be begging me to sign. I'll be the feel-good story of the 2003 season--editor-turned-kicker gets long-term (and high-dollar) deal with the Rams!

Alas, there are no pro scouts at Aguiar Kicking Academy. I figure as much as I pull up to small-town Waterloo (Ill.) High School, where Aguiar is an assistant coach. The camp consists of eight kickers, a couple of punters and a couple of long snappers. Yours truly is the only one who's old enough to take Aguiar out for a beer.

I quickly realize this is going to be much harder than I thought. Fifteen minutes into the camp, I can't even figure out how to position my legs to do one of the stretching exercises. "Benson, your other right foot," Aguiar tells me.

Aguiar punted in the NFL from 1991-2000, spending about half" his career with the Chiefs, and also was a kickoff specialist. He's hoping for one last shot in the pros but in the meantime has started kicking, punting and long-snapping camps in the St. Louis and Kansas City areas.

Aguiar admits that at least in some aspects, kickers and printers have it easy--he's quick to joke about playing dominoes with the kickers during practice while members of the offense and defense were in film sessions. But ask him if kickers should be considered real football players, and his tone gets more serious.