A good list.(New poems)(Poem)

 
A good list 
 
   hommage to Lorenz Hart 
 
   Some nights, can't sleep, I draw up a list, 
      Of everything I've never done wrong. 
   To look at me now, you might insist 
      My list could hardly be long, 
   But I've stolen no gnomes from my neighbor's yard, 
   Or struck his dog, backing out my car. 
   Never ate my way up and down the Loire 
      On a stranger's credit card. 
 
   I've never given a cop the slip, 
      Stuffed stiffs in a gravel quarry, 
   Or silenced Cub Scouts on a first camping trip 
      With an unspeakable ghost story. 
   Never lifted a vase from a museum foyer, 
   Or rifled a Turkish tourist's backpack. 
   Never cheated at golf. Or slipped out a blackjack 
      And flattened a patent lawyer. 
 
   I never forged a lottery ticket, 
      Took three on a two-for-one pass, 
   Or, as a child, toasted a cricket 
   With a magnifying glass. 
   ...