SPICE OF LIFE By PJO TAYLOR.

(From The Statesman (India))

COURT ROOM HUMOUR Although one might think that the trial of a man for a serious offence, say for murder, is hardly an occasion for levity, the fact is that many cases, including criminal ones, frequently attract humour. Misplaced, and in poor taste perhaps, but it is both common and highly relished, by the officers of the court if not the prisoners.

The point I suppose I am making, or trying to make, is that a court of law can be a very dull place, tedious, monotonous and boring to work in, and anything that adds a little spice to that tedium is more than welcome. True, the judge makes most of the jokes, but then you would expect that, he is after all the most important figure, and is privileged in more ways than one: no one wants to offend him, so his jokes, however feeble, are generally laughed at and false bonhomie engendered. But perhaps he does not always get away with it: if he persistently makes his little sallies whenever he thinks the opportunity arises, in the end they fall flat, and the guffaws give way to polite laughs, to sycophantic titters, to a smile and eventually to frowns of irritation. But beware provoking that high functionary too, by your lack of response: one judge was so mortified by the lack of positive response to his little jokes that he turned in irritation to an old gentleman sitting in the well of the court, and said 'if you don't stop coughing I will fine you one hundred pounds!' to which came the prompt reply 'if your lordship will stop it for me I will give you two hundred pounds!' Mirth ensued and even the judge was mollified.

Some of the best lawyers of course never become judges: it may be they can make a much better living prosecuting or defending, but even the cleverest court room actors can get their come uppance. Take the case of the famous QC who was trying, but failing, to get a straight answer from a witness who was as clever as he. In exasperation he said 'There is no ...