John Riggins, soap actor: an NFL legend sees me light. (Know It All).(National Football League)

Nothing beats waiting for Hall of Fame running back John Riggins in the green room on the set of Guiding Light. The green room is where semi-employed actors sit and wait for their scenes to be called. In the green room, everyone smells good and everyone looks like Justin Timberlake. Of the two security guards, one detective, one bartender and two other extras in the green room on this morning, only the bartender knows who John Riggins is, and this bartender is way more interested in seeing if he can hook up with one of the anorexic female extras than in discussing Riggins' career with a reporter who does not mousse.

I have come here today to judge Mr. Riggins. The goal is to figure out where he fits in the pantheon of ex-athletes who have become actors. Because there is no such thing as an athlete who turns into a good actor, the categories for this award are The Jim Brown (respectable), The Dennis Rodman (moronic) and The Gheorghe Muresan (unintelligible).

After telling me that Kevin Bacon got his start on Guiding Light, the publicist hands me a press release. The release explains that Riggins plays the role of ex-Marine Mitch Hendon, a "threatening presence in Springfield who is rightly suspicious of his wife Ramona's relationship with her personal assistant." Isn't daytime TV phenomenal?

Riggins shows up to the set at noon wearing shorts and a T-shirt. With forearms the size of Montana (the state, not Joe) and a daytime soap star's thin waistline, the 53-year-old Super Bowl 17 MVP still looks like he could run through a steel curtain. According to ...