YOU'RE GETTING MARRIED.(wedding services industry)

Every year in the United States there are about 2.3 million marriages, and to the members of the North American Bridal Association, a trade organization for bridal retailers and wholesalers, each of those marriages represents evidence of the sovereignty of love in a world generally governed by harsher passions, proof of an urge toward commitment in a short-attention-span culture, and a demonstration of the endurance of traditional family structures. It also represents a marketing opportunity. For every vow exchanged there is, it is hoped, a sweeping gown of satin and tulle to be sold; for every aisle walked, a trailing cloud of veil. Every kiss bestowed at the altar, under the huppah, or before the justice of the peace is, potentially, an occasion for the use of a silver-plated wedding-cake knife or a leather-bound guest book or a frilly lace garter threaded with blue ribbon. The average American bride and groom together spend twenty-two thousand dollars on the day that sees them transformed into man and wife, and each new union is filled not just with cordial hope but with the promise of profit.

How is a bridal retailer to make the most of that opportunity? This was the question addressed at a seminar entitled "Winning Bridal Strategies,"which was held not long ago at a semiannual trade show in Las Vegas, at which bridal-store owners from around the country view the latest in wedding-dress designs, place orders, share gossip, and pick up business-management skills. The bridal market was held at the Tropicana Hotel--one of the less luxurious of the city's resorts, its main attraction being not a scale model of the Eiffel Tower or an indoor replica of the Grand Canal but a ticktacktoe-playing chicken against which a challenger stood to win up to ten thousand dollars. For five days last September, the hotel looked like backstage at a Moonie mass wedding. There was a dizzying range of wedding dresses from designers whose exotic names--Janell Berte, Lorrie Kabala, Aurora D'Paradiso--seemed culled from the register at an expensive international school. In display cases, there were enough tiaras to restore every deposed monarchy in history. The endless amount of product appeared, to the untrained eye, deceptively similar and induced, after a few hours, what bridal-store owners call "white blindness."Retailers, however, could discern important distinctions among gowns when it came to stitching, boning, and the ease with which a wearer would be able to "Y.M.C.A."at her reception.

The seminar featured a Tennessee-based motivational speaker named Chip Eichelberger, whose resume noted that he got his start in the business by working for Anthony Robbins, the best-selling author of "Awaken the Giant Within.” "I am excited to be here, and I am challenged to be here,"Eichelberger announced, as he bounded to the front of the hotel conference room. He kicked things off by asking the members of the audience--who were, as is typical for the wedding-retail business, mostly women in their middle years--to give their nearest neighbor a back rub. Next, he launched into a peppy exhortation filled with attention-getting, counterintuitive statements.

"People say you should satisfy the customer, but setting out to satisfy the bride is a losing game,"he said. The bridal-store owners, who had paid $199 each to listen to Eichelberger, looked puzzled. "Satisfaction is mediocrity. If you set the bar at satisfaction, some people on your team will set out to satisfy. You have to set up a system to exceed expectations. You've got to think, How can I provide a better experience for the bride?"The store owners scribbled down his words. He explained some of the rudiments of salesmanship, and how they applied to the bridal business. "Some salespeople start at the lower end instead of at the high end,"he said. "If you get them excited about the three-hundred-dollar dress, it's hard to get them excited about the thousand-dollar dress."A bride's anxiety--about her dress, about her mother-in-law, about the man she's marrying--should be greeted as providing an opening for the self-assured salesperson. "A lot of people are scared going into marriage, and if you can transfer your certainty, that's good for you,"Eichelberger said. Stores should send e-mails to brides who came to browse but have yet to buy--"There's a difference between being pushy and following up,"he said--and they should consider traditional seduction techniques. "After every weekend is over, hire some kid with a bike for eight dollars an hour and have him ride around and deliver a single rose to everyone who placed an order,"Eichelberger went on. "There's nothing wrong with inducing a little reciprocation, if it's done elegantly. I would wager that's why a lot of brides buy from a salon: because the consultant spent so much time with them. You have to help them buy what they really want, not what they need.”

Most of all, he urged, consultants shouldn't let what he called the " 'Oh, Mommy' moment"pass them by. "When the bride comes out of the dressing room and looks at herself in the mirror and says, 'Oh, Mommy,' you need to ...